Confession #1: I am not the parent I'd hoped I'd be...

I have a confession to make:

I do not consider myself to be an awesome parent.  And I definitely do not parent the way I thought I would before I actually had children.

I try to be a healthy mommy.  I try to be a listening mommy.  I try to be a present mommy.  I try to be a creative, laughing and cuddling mommy.

Lately I feel like a McDonald's drive thru mommy.  I feel like I am a mommy who only half listens to my kids and then murmurs... "hmmm?" making my kids repeat what they are saying/ asking a few times.  I feel like I am "in my head" too much.  Always thinking about things and not looking my children in the eye or staying in the moment long enough to register what they need or want from me.  I feel like I am a "no" mommy...  mommy can I watch tv?  No.  Can we play school and you're the teacher?  No.  Can Babu and I go play outside/ go to the park/ take a bike ride?  No. No. No.  I am failing at being a "yes" mommy.

I could excuse myself by saying:  I am 36 weeks pregnant.  My legs are swollen, I can't bend down, I can't pick up, I am tired...
Or...
I could excuse myself by saying:  I am trying to process all these apples... or peppers... or tomatoes... etc. from the garden.
Or...
I could just own up to it.  I don't play with my kids like I should.  I don't interact with them the way I wish I did.  I can get a few good days together and then I'm exhausted by everything and I fall back on passive parenting.  I am just not the parent I pictured myself to be.  I am sad about this.

August 31, my seemingly monthly update is due! Eid Mubarak!

Wow!  The last time I blogged, Ramadan was just about to start.  I guess it is appropo that I am blogging once again-- exactly a month later and Ramadan just passed.  Today was Eid.  Yay!  Eid Mubarak to you all.  So much has happened in the last month.  Where to start....

• Shabbar's mom is doing well with the cancer.  She has zipped through 2 rounds of chemo and tomorrow is round number 3.  Shabbar and Aaliyah are there to be with her and to celebrate Eid.
• We have harvested 20 pounds of tomatoes and I don't see signs of that letting up.
• We have harvested many peppers (both Hungarian Wax and Jalepeno's)
• We have pickled green beans and pickled peppers.
• We have preserved 4 quarts of tomato juice and 9 pints of crushed tomatoes.
• We have dehydrated one gallon of apples and have three gallons sitting on my counter and MANY more in the yard ready to process (I'm thinking cider, applesauce and dehydrated rings)
• I have had two rounds to date of false labor.  I am just hoping I make it to Sept. 29 at this point.
• I have read 1 1/2 books on home organization and have thoroughly enjoyed making my system and going through the exercises.  These are the books I've used thus far:
• Side Tracked Home Executives by Pam Young and Peggy
• The Happiness File also by Pam Young and Peggy
• We have started Aaliyah in Quranic classes with the kind Moulana Taqi out of Jaipur India.  He meets with her 3 mornings a week via Skype.  It is going well, and has been a learning experience for us all so far ;)
• Tonight I met Aapi's first grade teacher-- a sweet, kind, soft spoken teacher whom I can't wait to find out more about-- but alas will have to wait until Tuesday since she will be missing her first and second day of school due to Eid and celebrations in Chicago.
• Babu is talking more and more and getting cuter and cuter.  He got his first big boy haircut a few weeks ago and is getting closer to his terrible two's by the second!  Restaurants are out of the question without some type of crying and removal from said restaurant these days. 

Life is zooming right along and I can't wait for our next adventure!  The induction for miracle baby #3 has been set to Sept. 29... so less than a month to go!  Hope I make it and hope all goes well!

Nearly 31 weeks and home alone...

This weekend I shipped my dear family out to Chicago for one last pre-chemo visit to Aami Jaan.  These last 30 weeks have been a whirlwind.  Aami Jaan has been in and out of the dr. office and hospital since May with a diagnosis of breast cancer and a left only radical mastectomy.  She is healed now and will begin Chemotherapy this week.  The family has rallied and she has been well taken care of so far.  They made a schedule of post-chemo care beginning with AamiJaan's sister and followed by Baba.  He will be gone from August 16-21... including his birthday :( .  The next 4 sessions will be completed by other family members.  On top of this, I just finished camp last Friday ending a three week intense session organizing 21 campers, 3 teachers, 5 counselors and my family.  It was fun!  I had a great camp!  But I ended up firing one counselor two days before the end... Miserable.  And I have officially hit 30 weeks as of last Wednesday beginning my travel restriction making me stay within one hours travel to a Level 3 NICU just in case miracle baby #3 decides to enter the world early (like Aapi) or quickly (like Babu).  Tomorrow (inshAllah) begins Ramadan and with only Shabbar fasting inside the house, it'll prove difficult I am sure.  The days are long and hot....  and the rest of us are either too young or pregnant making fasting not only not required but not accepted.  Perhaps we'll get up for Zaahari each morning to see him off.  SOOO many things going on right now. 

This weekend I was by myself-- it was nice but I was lonely.  I realized I only lived in our bedroom for most of it- haha!  I really like my bed.  I read, I watched hulu, I slept, I ate...  all from the comfort of my cozy spot.  I did venture out each day-- to the farmer's market yesterday and to goodwill/ big lots today.  And I need to get into Mama-mode again as my lovelies will be with me again at some point (all I know is that it'll be at least 4 more hours). 

Time to menu plan again.  Time to declutter.  Time to prepare for miracle baby #3. 

Reading List for Aapi... lets see how far we get

Babu and Miracle Baby #3 woke me up at 3am this morning for a potty break, diaper change and bottle...  and here I sit at 3:42 still awake.  Why not get a little summer vacation planning done!  This is the summer reading list I found on a random site geared to incoming 1st graders.  I plan on doing weekly library visits this summer so I think we'll print this list and see how much we can read together.  I have highlighted the books we've already read and plan to check in as the summer progresses to see where this takes us...

INCOMING FIRST GRADERS:

Read Aloud Books:  ALL children can benefit from being read to. Any book lends itself to being a read aloud. Please read fairy tales and folk tales to your children whenever possible. They are a rich and beneficial part of our literary heritage, and enhance the cultural literacy of our children. Children love to hear adults read to them. It creates a special time between adult and child. Choose a book that is at least 2-3 grade levels above your child's reading level. Children can listen to language at a higher level than they can read. The grade levels here are suggestions - let your child's interests and maturity guide you in selecting an appropriate book. It only takes 20 minutes a day!
TITLE                        AUTHOR

AAAARRGGHH! SPIDER! Lydia Monks
AMAZON ALPHABET Martin & Tanis Jordan
ANASI DOES THE IMPOSSIBLE Verna Aardema
ANIMALS OF THE NIGHT Merry Bank
CHARLOTTE'S WEB E.B. White
COLOR ZOO Lois Ehlert
EVERETT ANDERSON'S YEAR Lucille Clifton
FIRST THE EGG Laura Vaccaro Seeger
FOREST OF DREAMS Rosemary Wells
FROG AND TOAD (other titles) Arnold Lobel
GOTTA GO! GOTTA GO! Sam Swope
HERE COME THE ALIENS Colin McNaughton
I KNOW AN OLD LADY WHO SWALLOWED A FLY Nadine Bernard Westcott
IRA SLEEPS OVER Bernard Waber
IS YOUR MAMA A LLAMA? Deborah Guarino
JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH Roald Dahl
KNIGHTS OF THE KITCHEN TABLE Jon Scieszka
LITTLE PENGUIN'S TALE Audrey Wood
LON PO PO Ed Young
MY FATHER'S DRAGON Ruth Stiles Gannett
NICK PLAYS BASEBALL Rachel Isadora
SHY CHARLES Rosemary Wells
TERRIFIC Jon Agee
THE CHOCOLATE TOUCH Patrick Skene Catling
THE LIBRARY Sarah Steward
THE RUNAWAY BUNNY Margaret Wise Brown
THE SNOWMAN Raymond Briggs
THE TUB PEOPLE Pam Conrad
THE WIND IN THE WILLOWS Kenneth Grahame
THE SNOWY DAY (and other titles) Ezra J. Keats
TURTLE KNOWS YOUR NAME Ashley Bryan
WHY MOSQUITOES BUZZ IN PEOPLE'S EARS Verna Aardema
YOU READ TO ME, I’LL READ TO YOU: VERY SHORT FAIRY TALES TO READ TOGETHER Mary Ann Hoberman

Have Your Child Read to You:  For children who are just learning to read, there are many excellent wordless books on the market also (such as the GOOD DOG, CARL series). Have your child "read" these to you by telling the story of the pictures. ABC and number books (such as ANNO'S ALPHABET and ALPHABATICS) are also excellent selections for this age group. Other children are already picking up books and reading them aloud to you. If this is your child, here are some book recommendations they may want to read to you.
•Barnyard Dance by Sandra Boynton
•Biscuit (other titles) by Alyssa Satin Capucilli
•City Dog by Karla Kuskin
•Freight Train by Donald Crews
•I Love Trucks! by Philemon Sturges
•If You Give a Moose a Muffin (other titles) by Laura Numeroff
•My Very First Mother Goose by Rosemary Wells and Iona Opie
•No David! (other titles) by David Shannon
•Polar Bear, Polar Bear, What Do You Hear? (other titles) by Bill Martin Jr. and Eric Carle
•Sheep in a Jeep (other titles) by Nancy Shaw and Margot Apple
•The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle
•Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak
•Where’s Spot? (other titles) by Eric Hill
•The I CAN READ books by the following authors: Arnold Lobel, Kay Chorao, Majorie W. Sharmat, Doug Cushman, Clyde Bulla, Ida Luttrell

Try these titles from the Virginia Young Readers list:
•Chester by Melanie West
•Dog and Bear: Two Friends, Three Stories by Laura Vaccaro Seeger
•Duck! Rabbit! by Amy Krouse Rosenthal
•Hansel and Gretel by Rachel Isadora
•I Ain’t Gonna Paint No More! by Karen Beaumont
•I’m the Biggest Thing in the Ocean by Kevin Sherry
•Katie Loves the Kittens by John Himmelman
•Rhyming Dust Bunnies by Jan Thomas
•Too Many Toys by David Shannon
•Wangari’s Trees of Peace: A True Story From Africa by Jeanette Winter

Menu Plan Monday: May 2- May 8, 2011

This week I am feeling some of that "Second Trimester Energy" we all love!  I am 18 weeks on Wednesday and enjoying the greening of the earth and the rounding of my belly.  Both yesterday and tonight we had dinner that screamed summer so I am hoping that Mother Nature gets the hint and starts bringing our temps into the 60's instead of the 30's!  But, the seeds are in the greenhouse and the compost is in the driveway so spring projects must surely be upon us no matter the weather...  so must our diet be wistful of the warm days to come.

Monday May 2:  Burgers, Steamed Asparagus and Corn on the Cob (followed by a trip to Menard's for fencing supplies)

Tuesday May 3:  Tangy Baked Chicken Breast, Oven Roasted Broccoli, Rice and Slow-Cooker Rhubarb Strawberry Pan dowdy

Wednesday May 4:  Steak, Baked Potatoes, Salad w/ Cucumber

Thursday May 5:  Happy Cinco de Mayo!!  Walking Tacos w/ all the fixins'

Friday May 6:  Leftovers or Turkey Soup (using the carcass in the freezer and frozen veggies)

Saturday May 7:  Portage County Cultural Festival!  Bring cash and eat all the wonderful food this event promises!!!  Bring extra food home for dinner???

Sunday May 8:  Hot dogs, Hashed Brown Patties and finish the Leftover Soup

Tuesday's Tip: Try the 30- Day Organizing Wizard Challenge!

What a perfect time of year to get organized!  This is April in Wisconsin and we vasilate each day between rain, snow (yuck!), and sunny 60 degree days.  The days I can be outside, I am...  just yesterday Baba and I spent our lunch hour constructing a green house for our seedlings... but today Babu and I are stuck inside watching the rain and wind sweep over the land.  (at least the lawn will finally green up!)

Today was the perfect day to focus a little more on this latest gem I found!  It is the 30-Day Organize-athon sent out by the Get Organized Wizard.  I receive a daily email that provides 5 minute organizing challenges.  This challenge has staightened out my dresser drawers, closets, goals, and paperwork just to name a few.  And all could be done in 5 minutes I wasn't getting into the spirit and spending more time on each task.  She gives us permission to toss or donate items and lets face it... I sometimes need permission to do that! 

Follow the link above, give this challenge a try and then when you have time, find out all the other wonderful freebies that this site offers!  There are lots of goodies there!

Happy Spring Cleaning!

Menu Plan Monday: April 25-May 1

Monday:  Taco casserole

Tuesday:  Leg o Lamb and Rice with Steamed frozen veggies

Wednesday:  Dinner at Erika's

Thursday:  Hamburgers or Sloppy Joes and oven fries

Friday:  Aapi and Baba special night together and Babu and Mama at Grammy's house for whatever they seruve

Saturday:  Leftovers

Sunday:  Eat down the house or Out to Eat!